The Only One
by Camilla Richard
Summary: AU. All Human. Bella is in an abusive relationship with James and her life is miserable. But what happens when Edward Masen, a boy she went to high school with, comes along and helps her turn her life around? Rated T for some romance situations. E/B/J
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing and am not Stephanie Meyer.

Author's Note: My first straight Twilight fic. I love Twilight so I hope you enjoy this. All the characters are human in this. I'll write vampire Twilight eventually too. Eventual Bella/Edward. This fic is dedicated to Marcia R. (Marcy!) my best friend in the whole world and an incredibly talented girl to boot. I love you.

Chapter One

The rain was keeping me awake. Every time I attempted to close my eyes and sleep, a loud rumble of thunder or a bright flash of lightning would flash across the sky, and I would be wide awake and alert once more. The rain didn't seem to be affecting James the same way it was affecting me. In fact, it hardly seemed to be affecting James at all. He had been asleep for hours and was snoring loudly, loudly enough to occasionally be heard over the sounds of the rain above. Nights like that one, nights where I was condemned to remain awake, I often thought of what had begun my relationship with James in the first place. I had just graduated from Forks High School in Washington State where I had spent my junior and senior years living with my father. Although I was born in Washington, I have actually spent the majority of my life living in other places. Until I was seventeen, I lived with my mother, Renee. I love Renee. In some ways, I am closer to her than I have ever been to anyone else in my entire life. Still, though, there were many times while I was living with my mother that I felt she was the child and I was the adult. All the same, my years with Renee were, for the most part, good ones. We moved a lot and she went through many relationships that didn't work out. Whenever a guy woulf brake up with her or leave her behind, she would turn to me. I would be her comfort, her shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, that was a big responsibility. It was rewarding though. I always felt accomplished when I was able to help her get through a difficult time in her life. My mother has always had a tendency to behave a bit silly and during my freshman year of high school, she met a baseball player called Phil who is now her husband. We were living in Phoenix at the time and I watched, somewhat entranced and somewhat dismayed as my mother fell more and more in love with Phil with each day that passed. When I was a sophomore, they married. Being a baseball player required Phil to do a lot a traveling and frankly, by that point in my life, I was sick of travelling. So, I moved to Forks, the tiny town where I was born, to live with my father. My father, Charlie, is a quiet man, but he is more thoughtful and intuitive than my mother. I actually have fond memories of the years I spent with him as an upperclassman in Forks.

Initially, I detested the town of Forks. It was tiny and the people were mostly shallow, boring. I did make a few friends, but they weren't really people I had much in common with. To be honest, I liked being alone as a teenager much more than most people my age did. In fact, at Forks High there was only one other kid in my class who seemed to be as aloof as I was. We never talked though, he didn't seem to want to talk with anyone. His name was Edward Masen. When I first arrived in Washington, I was, I'll admit it, a bit taken with Edward Masen. To say he was a feast for the eyes is putting it mildly, in some ways, it's an insult to his appearance. Edward is still to this day the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I was fascinated by his dark, quiet attitude and of course, his stunningly attractive appearance. I didn't really know him though. I wanted to get to know him, but every time I would have the opportunity to say something to him, I would lose my nerve. He never actually talked much in high school. I'll bet I can count the number of conversations Edward Masen and I had in High School on one hand. They were all simple conversations and they never lasted long. Edward didn't seem interested in talking with me but I didn't take it personally. Edward wasn't interested in talking with anyone at school. He made the highest grades in the class and was a complete gentleman, but he never went out of his way to be friendly, he was just polite. The other girls in our class detested Edward. They hated him for being so beautiful, so intriguing and so uninterested in them. I didn't blame him for ignoring us though. There was something about Edward that seemed strangely adult, as though he didn't really belong with our age group anyway. Even still, though, I had something of a crush on him until the summer after eleventh grade, when I ran, quite literally, into James.

I still remember the first time I saw him as though it were yesterday. He moved into town with his girlfriend, Victoria, who for some reason or other, had always wanted to live on the West Coast. He was twenty-five, she was twenty-three. I was nearly eighteen. James was a lawyer who had just moved his practice to Seattle but, because Victoria wasn't wild about living in the city, they had purchased a small, one bedroom home in Forks. I didn't pay much attention to them when they first moved in, I didn't think I would end up having much in common with a twenty something couple. A few weeks after they moved into town, I was shopping at the supermarket. On my way out of the store, I wasn't really watching where I was going and I crashed into James who was walking into the store. Needless to say, I was horribly embarrassed. I felt myself blush and knew I must have looked absurd. The red, flushed color of my face didn't match my pale complexion well at all. In fact, blushing usually made me look like a circus clown who had slapped far too much makeup on her face. "I'm so sorry." I blurted out, reaching one hand toward James and running the through my long, dark hair, a nervous habit I have always had.

To my surprise, James smiled and chuckled. "Relax, babe," he said, "No harm done." There was something about James's tone of voice that had any immediate calming effect on me. Within seconds, my heart rate had slowed and I was thinking rationally again. For the first time since he had moved to Forks, I got a good long look at James. He had had a rather unremarkable face, a short blonde pony tail, and an attractive, muscular body. He certainly wasn't a beauty like Edward Masen, but I still found him attractive. There was some hint of kindness in his eyes. I felt at ease in a way I couldn't explain as I gazed at him. At last, he broke the somewhat awkward silence that had fallen between the two of us. "What's your name, Sweetheart?"

There was nothing unusual about this question, nothing at all. Yet, somehow, it still left me tongue tied. James's voice was silky and soft, filled with warmth and, at the same time, a kind of sensuality I couldn't explain. "I'm B..Bella." I replied, unable to ignore the tremble in my own voice, "Bella Swan."

A thoughtful expression crossed James's face. "Chief Swan's kiddo, eh? Nice to meet you. My name is James Brun. My girl Victoria and I live on the north side of town." For the first time, I felt my insides twist. I didn't recognize it at the time but I was already beginning to develop a kind of jealousy of Victoria and rightly so, I would have much reason to be jealous of her in my future. James smiled at me and said, "Ah, Tori is a looker, there's no two ways about that. She's got a temper crazy enough to match her hair. I used to believe that the whole redheads have a bad temper thing was just a stereotype until I met her. Of course, I love her temper, her spirit, but occasionally, it bothers me. I have to get away from it. What about you? Do you ever want to get away from people you care about?"

I was surprised. James had turned the conversation around and made it about me again. I have to admit, I was quite happy that James seemed to want to know about me. To be honest, I think that's what drew me to him in the first place. He seemed to care and many people in my life didn't. My friends at school wanted to talk about themselves, about the relationships they were having, the grades they were making, and whatever else interested them at the time. Charlie never seemed to want to talk. I knew he loved me and I did love him, it's just that I couldn't imagine telling my secrets to him. The prospect of confiding in Charlie was, well, scary. I couldn't picture it. Throughout my childhood, I had always confided in Renee and she had confided in me. There was a certain sense of trust between the two of us that I had never experienced with anyone else. But then, she had met Phil and Phil more or less replaced me as my mother's number one person. After I had gone to live with Charlie, I had lost the person I could open up to. That's where James came in. From the day I ran into him at the supermarket on, he became the person I could talk with. That day, he asked me all sorts of questions about myself. He asked about my values, about what I found important in life. We ended up walking through Forks with him asking me questions and seeming to genuinely want to know the answers to each and every one of them. I can still remember the way he used to concentrate on me, as if I were all that mattered to him at that moment. James knew how to make me feel special like no one else. He treated me as an equal, as an adult who's opinion mattered every bit as much as anyone else's. At first, I considered him a really good friend. He would come and see me sometimes after school and we would go and get something to eat and, when he asked, I would tell him about my day, leaving nothing out. Once, a few months after we had begun out friendship, I confessed that I didn't find myself very physically attractive. I had always been too pale, too unremarkable for my own tastes. When I said this, James's expression had clouded and he had whispered, "No, Bella, no."

We had been sitting in a little burger joint in town. Charlie was at work. Most of the town knew that James and I had begun to talk, but if they thought much of it, they didn't say anything. I think most people believed it was innocent. They thought James was looking out for me, like a big brother or a cousin would. Initially, they were right, but things changed in a hurry. When James spoke those words, I looked up, feeling a kind of shock come over me. "What do you mean?" I asked finally.

"I mean that you are physically attractive, Bella." He replied without missing a beat, "You're beautiful. Don't ever underestimate yourself. I don't want to hear you underestimate yourself. Am I clear?"

Stunned, I nodded. There was such passion in James's voice that I was taken aback. He continued. "Bella, there is no one more beautiful than you. I know I have known you no more than a few months, but you've changed the way I look at things, my perspective, if you will. I have something important to tell you today. Last night, I ended things with Victoria." An audible gasp escaped my lips. James ignored it. "I couldn't go on being with her, not when I can't stop thinking about you. The way I see it, you only get one life. A man should have the right to make that life as good as it can be. You're what is going to make my life wonderful, Bella. I am willing to wait for you as long as you want me to wait. When you get out of high school, I'll keep up with you. I want to be near you. Please Bella, please make me happy."

Young and impulsive as I was, I immediately responded to his words by grasping his hand and demanding to know if he truly felt the way he claimed to feel. My head was swimming. He had left Victoria? Beautiful, wild Victoria, for me. Me who was not nearly the woman Victoria was. Me who could scarcely be called a woman at all. I later realized that this was exactly why James had wanted me in the first place, because I was a child, because I was innocent and silly. But at the time, I knew nothing of the sort. I was eighteen and I was stupid. I was going to pay for my rash behavior, for my ignorance. In the end, once all was said and done, there would be only one person I could lean on, one person I could turn to. This is the story of my decent into darkness and the sweet angel who lifted me up and turned me away from it. Without him, I would have been, and still to this day would be nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I couldn't imagine writing about vampires for a few years…which is a feat Meyer has already accomplished. Therefore, I am not Meyer

Author's Note: Hello all. Thanks to those who reviewed. I'll say it now, it's good to be back. This story is for Iluvcatz, Arty Thrip (who I would never forget, silly girl!), Mitch Simmons, Marcy (my partner in crime), Mitch Simmons, and PW. It's going to sound corny, but it felt so amazing that all of you guys found my story and reviewed it. Reviews are what make me keep going, remember that. Without further ado, let's move on to chapter two in the life of foolish and rash….I mean kind and caring Bella Swan.

Chapter Two

While I was senior, James and I were intelligent. I was smitten with him, I knew that. At the time, I would have argued that I was in love with him. No one knew about our us though, or at least not what we really felt for one another. When the townspeople saw James and me together, we were always doing something really innocent. We would be getting ice cream, talking, going to the store. No one would have guessed we were a couple. We put up a good act, even my father couldn't figure it out. In fact, Charlie approved of James in a lot of ways. He figured that because James was polite, dignified, and had a rather successful career he would be a good influence on me. I think he also thought that James would look out for me if anyone ever tried to bother me. He was, after all, seven years my senior. How wrong everyone was! James may not have shown his passion for me when we were in public places, but whenever we went back to his house, it was a totally different story. Whenever we were truly alone, he had trouble keeping his hands off me. I knew it shouldn't have, but his obsession with my appearance made me feel powerful and important. I was addicted to the attention James gave me, the way he looked at me as if I were the only person that mattered in his life. Sometimes, I still couldn't believe it. Even though I never mentioned her, I still thought often of Victoria, his previous love interest. In those days, I couldn't imagine what had caused him to leave her behind in favor of me. Now, I know. I wasn't as observant as a teenager as I believed myself to be.

I made a habit of going to James's after school every Thursday for "homework help."I think it goes without saying I think that I did not work on anything for school at James's house. Ever. My grades in school were decent and I didn't actually need much help. Sometimes, I felt guilty about lying to Charlie about what I was doing with James on Thursday afternoons but I couldn't stop my relationship with him once it had begun. I felt as though I was addicted to him. With each and every passing day, I found him more and more beautiful, but that was most likely because he made me feel beautiful. If my relationship with James had remained as blissful as it was those first few months I might still be with him now, giving in to his every request. The first time I visited his house, he kissed me for the first time. Even though I had guessed it was coming, it was still a little odd. On one hand, it felt wonderful to kiss James, to feel wanted but on the other hand, it was uncomfortable in a way I couldn't have put into words. I tried to push my thoughts of discomfort, telling myself that it was stupid to feel suspicious or uncomfortable. I believed James loved me, that he would never harm me. I continued to believe this for sometime afterward. The human mind is a powerful thing. You can trick yourself into believing anything you think you should believe. This was the case here. Even after James's faults began emerging, I forced myself to ignore and forget them. In my naïve eyes, he was perfect and flawless simply because I loved him.

The first time I noticed one of James's major flaws was on my fifth visit to his house. It was a dreary, dark Thursday, but that wasn't unusual for Forks. It always rained in Washington, no matter what the season. Before meeting James, I had been extremely eager to get away from the northwest as soon as I graduated from high school. After spending a few years in Phoenix, I was certainly more of a sunshine kind of girl. However, after establishing a relationship with him, I no longer had any desire to leave Washington. Instead, I wanted to move to Seattle, got to Seattle University, and support him while he practiced law. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life yet, but I didn't really care. As long as it involved James, I was up for it. Until this one dreary afternoon, things had been almost dreamlike between the two of us. In my mind, James was Prince Charming, sweet, caring, well mannered. This particular afternoon, unfortunately, changed all of that. I was extremely happy to be out of school. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. At school, I always felt like I had to be something I wasn't. I was thrilled to be going to see James and to be getting away from everything that brought me stress. I was going to spend the afternoon in his arms, letting him hold me. That usually managed to make me forget whatever was bothering me and find happiness, even if it was only temporary. Whenever I was with James, I could escape to a fantasy land where he and I were the only two people who mattered at all.

The second I arrived at his house that afternoon, I knew something was different. When he answered the door, he looked irked. I felt an immediate sense of dread fill my stomach, a dread I couldn't really explain verbally. "Come in," James said in a gruff tone that could me off guard. When I didn't move at once, he snapped, "You heard what I said, get in, will you?" Shocked, I obeyed. He motioned to the couch and I sat down, still unable to understand his behavior. Once I had sat down, he turned away from me, back toward his kitchen. Normally, by this time, I would be in his arms by now. I wanted to say something, but I didn't quite work up the courage to ask him. After a few moments, James walked back toward me. For a moment, he stared not at me but at the window above my head. F

There was a tense silence for a few moments which I finally broke. "James," I began. It turned out to be a big mistake.

"What?" James yelled, "Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate! Are you too blind to see that? Are you so selfish that you don't care? What the hell is your problem?"

I felt my mouth become very dry and heat began to form behind my eyes. I didn't dare make eye contact with him. I didn't really want him to see my cry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who tries to be void of all emotion, I've always thought that was a bit silly. All the same, I didn't want to give James the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten to me. I was frustrated, confused, nervous, and, I'll admit it, somewhat afraid all at once. I couldn't understand James's outburst. I didn't have a clue what had brought it on or why on Earth he had taken his anger out on me. I began to think that maybe he had been faking all along. Perhaps he had never cared for me, not sincerely anyway. As soon as that thought, that horrid possibility occurred to me I could control my tears no longer. Within seconds, they were streaming down my cheeks. I cast my eyes deliberately downward, ashamed of myself. It was then that I heard James's tone change and become the one I recognized as his. "Bella," he said softly, pronouncing my name as though it were the title of something sacred, "I'm so sorry, Bella." Without another word, he walked over to the couch and sat down beside me, embracing me as he did so. At this point, it became easier to control my emotions and before too terribly long, my tears subsided. When he was certain I had stopped crying, James whispered, "I shouldn't have let you see this. I shouldn't have exposed you to this."

Exposed me to what? I wanted to shout. I still did not comprehend what James was talking about or what had put him in such a terrible mood. Now, he seemed to be back to normal, his usual kind self. That puzzled me more than anything else. How could he go from screaming at me one second to holding me the next? I wanted to ask him about his behavior, to demand to know why he had treated me with such disrespect. I wanted to know if there was something bothering him and, if there was, I wanted to be there to help him get through it. Although I had many questions for James, many points I wanted to make, I simply replied to his comments by saying, "It's all right, James, I'm not upset, I promise I'm not."

My words seemed to reassure James. He leaned down and kissed my lips. I leaned in and deepened the kiss. For the following few seconds, I was lost in his kiss, forgetting all that had troubled me just a few minutes before. When at last our kiss came to an end, James gazed at me and ran his finger down the side of my pale face. Finally, he spoke once more. "Bella, I want you to forget what you saw today. I want you to forget the way I treated you. I should never have taken out my anger on you, please forgive me. I'll never do it again, you have my word."

Because it was the first time anything like this had occurred, I believed James. I told myself that he had probably had a difficult day at work and that he was most likely just stressed because of the pressures he experienced in the office. "You don't have to apologize to me, James." I answered, "You have done nothing wrong. But James, I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about anything, I'll be right here, happy to listen."

James smiled, a sweet, breath taking smile that made it suddenly hard for me to breathe properly. "I know you will, Sweetheart. Someday, I'll need to get something off my chest. But not now, not today." He kissed my temple and then said, "It's late. Charlie's probably wondering where you are."

I nodded. "I've gotta go. I'll see you soon, James. Take care."

"You too, Bella, you too. Don't get into any trouble."

I laughed. James and I both knew I was not the sort of person who caused trouble in Forks. To be honest, there weren't loads of trouble makers in Forks and everyone knew who did like to cause trouble every now and again. I would have had a difficult time being a troublemaker in that town anyway, considering my father's profession. I left James's house feeling a bit better, but still a tad bit uneasy. I wanted to slap myself for feeling so paranoid. I didn't have a real reason to be, but I was. Something about James's sudden fury had made me uncomfortable and unsure.

As I was walking home that evening, I caught sight of Edward Masen walking about town. When I passed him, he looked up and made eye contact with me. I didn't expect him to acknowledge me, he didn't usually. This day though was different from all of the rest. Edward gave me a look that could only be described as disapproval. Then, he turned and walked in the other direction as if nothing had happened between the two of us. After he walked away, I started to rush home, my mind spinning. Why would Edward Masen give me a look of disapproval? It was almost as if he knew about James and me. But how could he possibly know about us? He barely knew me. More confused than ever before, I walked home at a very brisk pace, the thoughts in my mind whirling around in my head. I didn't get much sleep that night. How could I when my mind was as puzzled as mine was? I had so many questions and so few answers.

**AN- Sorry for such a short chapter, I don't have much time. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. PW: I understand you want me to write more SH. I will someday, but not now. Don't take it offensively. You're awesome and I promise that one day, I'll write another huge SH fic and dedicate it to you. Love ya.**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I am so not Smeyer. It's not even funny. Anything or anyone you don't recognize is mine.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who have reviewed. I appreciate your feedback more than I can possibly say.

Chapter Three

The morning after James lost his temper with me for the first time, I got very little rest. I finally managed to doze off in the last hour or two before my alarm clock went off, telling me it was time to begin a new day. Exhausted, I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to my closet, slowing stripping off my pajamas and starting to put on my clothes. Just as I was removing my pajama top, I heard a clicking sound coming from outside my window. Without even having to look, I knew what it was that had made the sound. A camera. Nothing else could have made a sound quite like that. As much as it horrified me to admit it, even to myself, I knew that someone had just climbed up the tree in our yard gotten level with my bedroom window and snapped a picture of me while I was getting dressed. I had left my window cracked the night before because sometimes the outdoor air was a comfort to me. The crack in the window had betrayed the person photographing me. I quickly covered my chest with my sweater and turned around as quickly as I possibly could. I was too late. Whoever had been looking in on me was gone, probably with a picture of my naked body on his camera. I moaned aloud. Only God knew what he would use that picture for. Unfortunately, I was soon to find out. I had heard other girls in my class talk about people like this unknown photographer they called them Peeping Toms. I had always heard that Peeping Toms only tried to spy on really attractive girls. Although the idea that he was taking pictures of my body without consent was utterly disgusting, I also got a small amount of satisfaction that a Peeping Tom had gone well out of his way to see my body. Perhaps James wasn't just being kind, maybe I really was attractive. I glanced at myself in the mirror and my face looked back at me, average and plain. I shook my head and decided that the Peeping Tom must be desperate, crazy, or both to want to look at me over Jessica or any of the other pretty girls in my class. I finished dressing and went downstairs.

When I reached the kitchen, I found my father sitting there reading the paper. "Good Morning Dad." I said, attempting to sound cheery but I heard my voice fall flat. I couldn't push the Peeping Tom from my mind. Who was he? Why had he wanted pictures of me? And more importantly, what would he do with his pictures of me? I shuddered as I considered the possibilities. Then, to top it all off, I was still worried about James's anger with me. I had also contemplated the fact that Edward Masen had almost glared at me the night before. All of these troubling things were floating around in my head and making it difficult to sound happy, even for my father.

Charlie was able to catch the note of dismay in my tone. "What's up, Bells?" he asked, "Everything okay?"

For a split second, I considered telling Charlie about the Peeping Tom. He was a policeman, he might even catch the guy. I quickly decided against telling me, however. I had a feeling that, if I told Charlie someone was spying on me, he would become even more overprotective than already was. I loved Charlie, but he was always overly worried about me. Yes, I was a bit clumsy and yes, occasionally I made rash decisions, but I was far more independent that he gave me credit for. I made a mental note that, if I got a repeat visit from the Peeping Tom, I would tell Charlie. I was pretty certain I would get no such repeat visit, though. I was planning on drawing my curtains over my windows every night from then on. My days of barely cracking my window open at night were over. "I'm fine." I assured Charlie, hoping my tone sounded believable.

Charlie gave me a concerned look. "All right, Bells." He said, "But remember, I'm here if you ever, you know, wanna talk about anything."

My father's words nearly made me laugh aloud. I realized with a start that his offer to be there for me, to talk to me, was exactly like the offer I had made James not even twenty-four hours earlier. I smiled at Charlie. We were so alike in so many ways, ways I didn't even think about sometimes. "Thanks Dad." I said.

Charlie returned my grin. "Anytime kid." He replied, "Anytime."

Within thirty minutes of climbing out of bed, I was pulling out of the driveway in my old truck. I loved my truck and I didn't really care what anyone else thought about it. I knew that people sometimes thought it looked silly, especially when it was compared to some of the other cars people drove to school, namely Edward Masen's Volvo and Margret Tilly's convertible. My truck was wasn't the faster car around but I loved it anyway. It suited me better than any new car would have. My day at school was normal by school standards. Jessica and Angela were scheming up ways to help Jessica get Edward Masen's attention. It was hard for me to believe that, a mere few weeks earlier, I would have been as engrossed in scheming as they were. I still found Edward Masen attractive, but he wasn't as attractive to me as James was at that time. James made me feel special, Edward had done little more than ignore me even though we had known one another for months now. I got through the school day and returned home, tired and bored. I completed my homework as quickly as I could and then, I headed for the shower to wash the day off of me. As the warm water hit my body, I felt a kind of relief wash over me and I relaxed. No one had mentioned the Peeping Tom all day. Obviously, he had yet to show them to anyone. Maybe he had just taken the pictures to amuse himself, maybe he would never show them to anyone. As it turned out, those pictures were going to turn up when I least expected it. I would one day come face to face with my Peeping Tom. At that time, though, I was sure I had gotten away clean.

On Friday afternoon at about five, I decided to call James and see what he was doing. He had promised to take me to get ice cream this weekend, just so we could talk and be together. I also believed it was his way of apologizing for the way he had behaved Thursday afternoon. When I got a hold of him on the phone, he sounded happy, thrilled even, to hear from me. His happy tone of voice nearly caused me to shake with happiness. Although I knew it was wrong of me, I had half expected to get on the phone and start yelling at me again. His kindness reassured me and I began to think that James had just been having a bad day the previous day. That would make sense, I told myself. Everyone has bad days. I was certainly willing to forgive James for being short with me. After all, it had only happened once. That evening, I slept very well, dreaming of James and a life we might someday share with one another.

The next afternoon, James was late and I was getting anxious. He had promised to pick me up and take me for ice cream at two o'clock and it was nearly three. As much as I hated to think it, I was starting to believe that James had forgotten about me. But how could he have done that? I had spoken to him the day before. It was just so unlike James to be late for anything. He was a lawyer for God's sake. He knew how to be punctual. I had always thought he cared about me. Surely he wouldn't be late to take me out. I paced around my bedroom incessantly, gazing out of the window every few seconds to see if he had arrived or not. At last, after nearly an hour of pacing, I heard the engine of his car pulling into my driveway. I had originally intended to seem cross with him. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind without showing him just how much he had worried me by being late. Unfortunately, James's arrival at my home chased away any hopes I might have had of being cold toward him. His presence caused me to become as excited and giddy and a young child at Christmas time. I rushed down the stairs and was there to greet him the second he knocked.

"Bella!" he exclaimed fondly as I opened the door, taking me into his arms. "It's great to see you. Let's go get something to eat, shall we?"

"Of course." I said, not missing a beat. He seemed to happy to see me and I didn't want to make him angry by asking what had caused him to be so late on a Saturday afternoon. Besides, at eighteen, I would have thought it was irrelevant where James had been and what he had been doing so long as he wasn't upset with me. "Let's go."

He smiled at me and I followed him out of the house and into his car. We drove off of my street but, instead of turning in the direction of the ice cream parlor, James turned the car in the opposite direction. The second he turned the car to the left instead of the right, I knew James wasn't after ice cream. I had a feeling I knew exactly what he wanted. The sad part was, I kind of wanted it as well. Still, though, I had to ask. "We're not going for ice cream, are we?"

James took his right hand off the wheel for a split second and squeezed my hand in his. "How very observant of you, Bella." He shot me a lopsided grin, which I was quick to return. All the same, I was unable to hide my uneasiness. I was a virgin. I had never done anything more than kiss a boy on his lips. I wasn't certain if I was ready for what James might do to me. As if sensing my uneasiness, James brought my hand to his lips and whispered the words I had been longing to hear almost from the moment I had first gazed into James's eyes, long before I guessed he had had other motives all along. "I love you, Bella, and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"J..James." I stuttered. I didn't know what to say. At that moment in my life, I believed every word he had just uttered. It was the first time he had told me he loved me. To this day, I have not forgotten how that made me feel. His words were all it took to convince me that whatever James wanted to do to me could not possibly me bad. Aside from that, I was completely convinced I loved him and that, in love, there was no wrong.

James ended up pulling the car over on the edge of the wilderness near an extremely beautiful creek. It was one of the most glorious places I had ever seen. The late afternoon sunlight shone through the trees and for once, there were very few clouds. The weather while not warm was more than tolerable. I still remember the details of that afternoon with James in the wilderness with such clarity that the events that took place in it could have happened yesterday. But, I will spare you from having to know those details. They are still a very private subject and I would prefer not to share them with anyone, not even those I trust most. I will say though that Saturday in early October while the sun was rapidly setting, I lost the remaining strands of my innocence. At the time, I thought little about it. Soon, it would be all I would think about. James became my lover that evening and our journey together was only going to become rockier from that night foward.

**AN- Yes, the rough part is to come, I'm afraid. The hard core abuse is coming before too long. Things get rough. Writing this actually is somewhat emotional for me because I have a friend who made many of the same mistakes Bella is making here and had the same mentality about it that Bella does. Oh, I have one thing to say. I may not be able to update tomorrow because my schedule is looking super hectic. I will try but I can't promise. If I don't get something out tomorrow, I promise you I will something out Thursday. I'm not as busy then. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. Bless you.**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: People actually know who Smeyer is. I'm am not famous.

Author's Note: I want to thank everyone who had reviewed me, added me to favorites or both. I can't express my thanks enough. You are wonderful and your compliments and opinions have both helped and encouraged me. You're a great bunch. This chapter is for Mikayla…..D.H.D!!

Chapter Four

The days following the night I gave myself to James were lovely. My memories of them are vivid. If I had thought I was spending a lot of time with James before we had made love, it was nothing compared with the amount of time we spent together afterward. He constantly took me hiking, fishing, to the library, for walks through town, and once, even ice skating. Ice skating, like anything that requires a bit of coordination, was a bit of a challenge for me. My clumsiness is pretty unbelievable. With James holding me, though, I somehow managed to get through the whole ordeal with very few problems. I did fall, of course, but only once which is a record for me. James was kinder than he had ever been, kind enough to make me almost completely forget the one time he had seemed to angry with me when I had come to visit him early on during our relationship. I still visited his house on Thursdays religiously only now, we did quite a bit more than kiss. In fact, a Thursday didn't often pass when we didn't go all the way. I didn't feel the least bit guilty about my behavior, though I should have. I had always thought that I would immediately regret losing my virginity if I lost in during my teenage years. I was wrong. When I was eighteen, I didn't regret losing it at all. I was very set on marrying James on a few years. I didn't know exactly how I would work that out, but I was formulating options in my mind. I knew I would have to explain to Charlie that relations with James were romantic. That would be no easy task but, if I wanted to have James forever, it would have to be done. The way I looked at it, I had until the end of senior year to work out what I was going to tell my father. That gave me plenty of time. When you're young, six months seems like ages. I still had to get through that amount of time before I graduated. Sadly for me, however, that time went by far quicker than I ever expected it would. Before I knew it, it was Christmas time.

The Christmas of my senior was remarkable in several ways. The first was that I actually had a conversation with Edward Masen, whom I had very nearly forgotten about. The second was that I came to face to face with the handiwork of my Peeping Tom and I had to deal with the consequences. The third was that James and I had our fist real fight. All of these events are related to one another. Allow me to explain. The day I completed my midterm exams, I was thrilled, as ever, to be out of school. I couldn't put into words how great it felt to be away from everyone there. I was incredibly tired of having to force myself to listen to the shallow problems of the other people at school. I found their wants and desires childish and hard to relate to. I was looking forward to spending a blissful few weeks with James. He was all the company I wanted. As I was walking to the school parking lot after my final exam, I came across Edward Masen getting into his Volvo. I didn't say anything to him. I didn't expect him to acknowledge my existence, why break the habit of a lifetime? To my surprise, Edward Masen looked at me and said, "Bella," at the sound of my name on his tongue, something inside me shifted. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was though so I did my best to ignore the feeling that had just gripped my insides. "Bella, could you hang on a minute?"

I was still utterly confused by his sudden attention to me but I was polite. "Yeah sure. What's going on Edward?"

"Well, I would like to have a…a word with you if you have time. Would you like to go get something to eat?" His eyes looked hopeful, maybe even desperate. I couldn't believe it. A year earlier I would have given an arm and a leg to eat out with Edward Masen but by Christmas of my last year in high school, I couldn't have cared less about doing that. James was the only person I could focus on at that point. Thinking of James caused me to make a decision right there. I couldn't go to eat with Edward. Doing so would make me feel as though I were betraying James. I didn't want to carry around that kind of guilt. I didn't want to imagine the hurt look on James's face if he ever found out I had gone on something of a date with someone other than him. In the back of my mind, I also recalled James's anger with me that day five weeks into our relationship. I wanted to prevent James from flying into another rage of sorts if I could help it. I hated disappointing him.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I replied, "I have to-"

"Please Bella," his voiced sounded as though he was pleading now, "Bella, I have something important to tell you, something you need to know."

His voice sounded so serious, so severe that my curiosity got the better of me. I had to see what he was bursting to tell me. "All right," I relented in a soft voice, "but let's make it quick, okay?"

Edward nodded reassuringly. "Done. Thank you for agreeing to listen. I'm planning on going to that cheesy little café on the north side of town. You can follow me in your truck if you don't want to hitch a ride with me."

I knew better than to ride with Edward. Riding with him had the potential to really make me look bad. At least if I drove my own car, it would look less like I was going on a date with him. "Um, I'll drive my truck." I confirmed.

"Whatever works for you." Edward flashed me a charming smile and hopped into the front seat of his shiny car. Within moments, I was following him out of the school parking lot and toward the outskirts of Forks. While I was driving, I became a prey to my thoughts. I couldn't help but wonder why Edward wanted to take me so far away from the center of town. What did he have to tell me that was so top secret? He barely knew me. The situation was incredibly bizarre.

When I at last arrived at the café, my head was spinning with questions. Edward was standing outside the restaurant, waiting for me. As he smiled, I felt my insides get that same woozy feeling they had experienced the first time he had graced me with his crooked half smile. I mentally shook myself. I couldn't allow myself to even think of Edward that way, it was a disrespect to James, my lover and my friend. I believed James was all I ever could have asked for and I felt disgusted with myself for even looking at another male the way I looked at James. I just wasn't grateful enough for what I had.

Edward and I made our way inside and speedily found a table at which we could sit. I decided to get right down to business. "So, what have you got to tell me?"

Luckily for me, Edward got straight to the point as quickly as I had. "It's about James Brun." I gasped with shock before I could stop myself. Edward pronounced James's name as if he knew every detail of my relationship with him. Even though I knew that was impossible, I shuddered anyway. Edward went on. "I think you should stay away from him."

I felt a burst of anger rise in my chest. How was it Edward's place to tell me who I could pass my time with? Why did he care? He didn't know half the things about James that I knew. "James is my friend," I snapped indignantly, "I'll spend as much time with him as I want to."

Edward's voice was still calm. "I'm not forbidding you to spend time with him, Bella, I am simply advising you not to do it. I can't stop you."

Just as I was about to tell him that he was right, he absolutely could not stop me from seeing James, the door to the café swung open and the man Edward and I had just spend the last few moments discussing entered the room. My heart sank. This was the last place I wanted to see James.

It didn't take James five seconds to spot us the corner of the restaurant. "Bella!" he shouted, his face red with rage, "what the hell are you doing here?"

There was silence in the restaurant. No one said anything. James seemed so powerful, so furious that no one dared to speak a word. I desperately wanted to know how on Earth James had discovered where I was but I wasn't about to ask that just then. I had a feeling that a question like that would only make James more upset. When I didn't answer him, James attempted to make his expression softer. He lowered his voice, "Get in your car, Bella. We're going to my place." He no longer seemed angry, just annoyed. I wasn't afraid of him. In fact, I wanted to follow him out of the restaurant and go to his place. I didn't blame him for being angry. After all, I was his girlfriend, I was doing a terrible thing by hanging out with Edward.

"Okay, James, I'm coming."

"Good." James replied, a bit gruffly. "That's what I like to hear." I walked out of the restaurant without even looking back at Edward Masen. I didn't care what he had to say. He didn't know anything about James and he had no right or reason to get into my personal business, none whatsoever.

James got into his car and I got into my truck. Swiftly, we made our way back to his house. I got more and more excited as I got closer. I had a feeling I was in for a very pleasant afternoon. By the time I reached his residence, I rushed inside, unable to conceal my eagerness. James's car was parked outside and I assumed he had already gone inside. I walked into the house without knocking. I no longer felt the need to do that anymore. I was a regular guest in James's home. "James?" I called. When there was no answer, I tried again. "James?"

"What is it, you little whore?" demanded James in a voice more frightening than I had ever heard him use, "What do you want? Do you want to tell me what a wonderful time you had with Edward Masen? I guess I'm not good enough, am I? I can't complete with the charming, sweet, polite-"

"James!" I exclaimed, cutting him off, "It's not like that! If you'd only let me explain."

"Never." James retorted, his voice becoming more and more sharp by the second. "Why should I let you explain? You will do nothing but lie? You've proven to me that I can't trust you, Bella, and for that you must be punished." With these words, James took a firm grip on my arm.

"James," I said, my voice trembling, "James, please."

James didn't reply. I saw him make a powerful fist, raise it above my head and sink it into my eye. I let out a cry, more of shock than pain, as his fist hit my face over and over again. Eventually, I could take it no more. I lost consciousness and collapsed in a heap at his feet. I remember no more about that day.

**AN- Weird place to leave you hanging, I know. You can expect more tomorrow though. You'll find out who Bella's "Peeping Tom" comes into this mess. Things are only going to get crazier. Thanks for your time.**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nope, not the owner.

Author's Note: Hey, thanks to everyone who has reviewed, as always. It means a lot. Hope you like this next chapter.

Chapter Five

When I awoke hours later, I didn't know where I was immediately. It took me a few second to recognize that I was lying in a bed in Forks' small hospital. Needless to say, I was confused. As soon as I was able to focus, I saw Charlie sitting at the end of the bed, a worried expression painting his features. As I began to sit up he said, "Easy Bells, easy. You don't need to get up."

"Why am I here?" I asked, but as soon as I had verbalized the question, I remembered. James had hit me. My dear, sweet James, the one person who had been there for me no matter what had hit me. A wave of emotional pain hit me hard and almost knocked the breath out of me. For a second, it made me forget the physical pain that had been searing through my body since I had awoken. I felt as though someone was repeatedly hitting me with a hammer.

"James found you, Bella." Charlie said, "in the woods not far from his house. Someone had…well, someone had beaten you up. James says you were passed out when he found you and so he brought you here to the hospital. Renee's here too, she's just gone to the bathroom, she'll be right back."

I was silent for a second, trying to take in everything Charlie had just said to me. First of all, James had downright lied to my father in order to protect his image. He had beaten me up, no one else. I knew I should be angry about that but somehow, I wasn't. To be honest, I felt a little guilty. I managed to convince myself that James had just become furious with me because he believed I was being untrue to him. I had probably gotten what was coming to me. I deserved to be punished. In that instant, I knew I wouldn't tell Charlie the truth about James. I still loved him and I wanted to try and make things right again. I had practically attempted to go on a date with Edward Masen and that wasn't even a bit fair to James. I was determined to set things straight again. Once I had stopped thinking of James, my mind drifted to the second thing Charlie had said, "You called Renee?" I asked, somewhat dismayed. I could never understand why Charlie had to get my mother involved in everything. If I accidently cut myself with a kitchen knife, he would call Renee and tell her about it. It was the worst kind of obnoxious. Secretly, I believed that Charlie had never gotten over Renee and it made me feel just a little bad for him every now and then.

Charlie caught the sound of annoyance in my voice and assumed an offended tone of his own. "Bella, someone hit you. Someone beat you up. What kind of father would I be if I didn't even tell your mother what had happened to you? Now, listen, Bella, I want to know the truth. Who hurt you? Who did this to you?"

Even though I had known only too well that this question was coming, I still froze. I knew I was going to have to lie, but about what. Who would I frame as the person who had abused me? I instantly knew the answer to that question. I would frame no one. I was certain I would regret framing an innocent with James's sin. That would make my already atrocious situation even worse than it was. "I didn't know him." I said. I could hear the strained sound of my voice as I spoke to Charlie, but he seemed not to notice. If he did, he probably believed it had to do with all of the physical pain I was enduring. "He was dressed in black. I didn't know his face. He took some of my money and I put up a fight about it."

Charlie shook his head, whether in admiration or disbelief I couldn't tell. It was most likely a bit of both. "Bella," he said, his voice disapproving, "I've told you a hundred times that if someone takes something of yours, you just let them have it. It's not worth risking your life for."

"I know, I know." I said. Before I could get anything else out, the door to the room opened. I braced myself, expecting to see my mother, a nurse, or worse, both. Instead, though, James strolled inside. In spite all I had been through in the last day, I felt my heart jump at the sight of him. Oh yes, I loved him. It was a crime and a shame, but I loved him. It was too late to turn back.

"Bella," he said softly, his voice sounding like a caress, "Bella, how are you?"

"O..Okay." I stuttered. He seemed so nice, so concerned about me. Maybe he was ready to put it all behind him. I had to acknowledge at this point that James had a temper but I still couldn't think of him as a bad man, not when he had been so wonderful to me during the past months.

"You don't look it." James replied. His eyes were apologetic and sad. It made my heart hurt for him. I recall thinking that the whole situation was my fault. Had I not agreed to go out with Edward Masen, this never would have happened. James never would have had any reason to hurt me. I smiled at James to reassure him. He at least deserved that much. He returned my smile whole heartedly and for a second, I felt completely happy. James reached forward, took my hand, and kissed it. I felt the usual butterflies rise in my stomach as he did so. "I brought you these." he said, reaching into his pocket and fishing out as box of Godiva chocolate. I felt myself beam as he handed me the chocolate.

"James!" I exclaimed, "You didn't have to-"

"I know, I know, Bella. I wanted to. There's a difference. I don't _have _to do anything I don't want to do." I didn't exactly know why, but the way James said these words sent little chills through my spine. As soon as I gazed into his eyes again though, that feeling was dispelled and I once again felt extremely happy. He gave my hand a squeeze and then began to speak once more. "I only came to see you, Sweetheart." He said, "I'll let you rest now."

"No!" I cried, without even realizing what I was doing, "I mean, you can stay James. You're not bothering me. You saved me after all."

When I mentioned the story that James had told my father, it was my way of agreeing to go along with it. It was my way of assuring James that I would never turn him in, not now, not ever. James's grin became even broader. "No, Bella, you need your rest. I'll come and see you again soon. Besides, you'll be out of here before you know it."

I was beginning to recognize that I was quite tired. James was right. I didn't respond to him. I just leaned my head against the pillow and closed my eyes.

James was right about one thing. I was out of the hospital before I knew it. By Christmas, I was within in the walls of my own home once more. James and I did spend much time together in the days following Christmas. I managed to spend the afternoon of New Year's Eve with him and I shared myself with him once more. He was incredibly tender and kind that entire week. Neither of us mentioned what had happened between the two of us not even a week earlier. My bruises had not even healed and we were already pretending the whole thing had not happened. Whenever I thought about the incident, I felt ashamed. I still believed I was responsible and that I had caused James pain he didn't deserve. For my entire second semester, James treated me like a queen and I as a result, I continued to carry around my guilt. Yes he had hit me and deep down, I knew that was wrong, I just didn't want to admit it. For the first few weeks of my final semester of high school, all of the other girls in my class wanted to know about what had happened to me and if I had any suspicions about who had beat me. Eventually they stopped bothering them after I promised them time and time again that I didn't recall anything really specific about my attacker. Jessica particularly was unsatisfied with my lack of details. She was the sort of person who enjoyed a bit of gossip. Well, I guess enjoyed is the understatement. She craved it. Sometimes it seemed like she needed some kind of gossip every week, just to get by. After a while, I kind of started isolating myself from the other kids in my class. They got the message and stopped talking with me. I think some of them even started rumors about me. I didn't care, it didn't matter. After a while, the only person that was kind to me was Edward Masen and I saw no reason to waste my time being nice to him. He had nearly ruined my relationship with James. I had no patience for him any longer.

In March of that year, I received an acceptance from Seattle University and was thrilled. I knew only too well that getting into that university was setting me up to spend as much time with James as I possibly could. I might even be able to move in with him after a while. That was my ultimate goal anyway. Charlie was happy that I was going to be so close to home because I would be able to come and see him very often. I had every intention of doing just that. I owed my old man that much. Everything in my life seemed to be going my way until the final week of my senior year of high school when the worst possible thing, the thing that had previously only occurred in my nightmares finally occurred in my life.

**AN-Short chapter I know but I am out of time. Hope you liked it. I'll post more soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I'm not Smeyer

Author's Note: I had a glorious weekend. Lots of tests recently though. Thanks for bearing with me. This is another short one I'm afraid but my next chapter, which you can expect on Sunday or Monday of next week, is going to be pretty long and very eventful. It's kind of dark though. Just a warning. Stay tuned.

Quotes that pertain to this story:

**O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou, Romeo?....Deny thy father and refuse thy name.-Romeo and Juliet**

**It was Greek to me.- The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. **

**As long as he needs me…oh yes, he does need me. In spite of what you see, I'm sure that he needs me.-Oliver!**

Chapter Six

The final week of high school, I finally came face to face with the work of my Peeping Tom, my stalker. I had more or less pushed him out of my mind during the last few months. I had had too much to think about. Between finishing my credits for school and spending my free hours with James, I had much on my mind. I was actually pretty happy that spring. James treated me like a Princess and I decided that he must have just snapped and hit me that once. He would most likely never hit me again. I never brought it up with him and tried to push it from my own memory as well. It was in the past, I was stupid to keep thinking about it. In any case, James had had ever right to be angry with me. After all, he had caught me at a restaurant with another man, what was he supposed to think? In some ways, I mentally blamed Edward Masen for my misfortune. As I have previously stated, I made no effort to be even remotely pleasant to him during my last semester of high school. Edward seemed to be trying to get my attention all through that year. He obviously still thought James was a bad influence on me. To be honest, I was amazed that Edward had known the nature of my relationship with James. No one else in Forks knew at the time. Of course, I didn't know for certain that Edward knew, but I was 99.9 percent sure. The way his face had looked when he had mentioned James's name in the café had given it all away. Edward had almost seemed like he had felt sorry for me when he had spoken to me. Looking back on it, it kind of made me sick. I didn't want his pity, I didn't need it. Unfortunately for me, the events of my last week in high school were going to cause many of my classmates to pity me. I hated being pitied. In fact, at that age, I hated being noticed. I only wanted to be noticed by people I cared about which, at that point, was a very small group of people. I was in for a horrid shock.

When I walked into school on the last Monday of the school year, everyone standing by the lockers fell silent. I could feel everyone's eyes on me and then, suddenly, I heard whispering. I knew without a doubt in my mind that they were whispering about me. I saw Jessica standing at the end of the hallway and decided that, if anyone would know why in God's name everyone in the building was staring at me, it would be her. There was no one who was fonder of the latest gossip than Jessica Stanley. "Hey Jess," I said, attempting to sound casual. "What's going on?"

Jessica tried to make her face seem sympathetic, but I could see right through that look. She looked positively gleeful as she looked at me. "Oh Bella, it's awful." she said quickly, her face flushed with excitement. "Look." She reached her hand into her purse and pulled out a picture. For a second, I couldn't quite comprehend the content of the photograph. It didn't seem possible. Apparently, it was. There, in the middle of the picture, was me. I was naked from head to toe standing in my bedroom trying to put my clothes on. It was the picture the Peeping Tom had taken! The pictures I had put out of my mind the last few months, they had come back to haunt me in the worst possible way. But the horrors of my situation didn't stop there. Whoever had taken the picture had edited it and added a picture of James behind me. He was also naked. I felt like screaming. I could tell the photograph was a fake because James had not been with me that morning and we had never undressed anywhere but his sitting from. Still, though, the picture was edited quite well, I must admit. Had I not been the person who had been photographed, I would not have believed it was a fake at all. The bottom line was, it didn't matter that that particular photo was a fake. The whole school now doubtlessly believed that I was involved with James sexually. It was no secret that we were friends, but now, because of my Peeping Tom, the whole school and possibly all of Forks knew my secret. I knew perfectly well that, if the people of Forks didn't know about my relationship with James, it wouldn't be long before they did. Forks was tiny and I knew news of an affair like mine with James would not be a secret long. "Bella," Jessica grabbed my shoulder, "Bella, are you all right?"

I didn't answer. How could I respond to such a stupid question? I felt like passing out. My stomach was churning and I was becoming increasingly ill. These pictures were going to ruin both my reputation and James's, it was just that simple. Also, although I didn't want to, I couldn't help but wonder what James would have to say about all of this. I feared that he would be angry and perhaps take it out on me. I shivered when I thought of what had happened at Christmas time. Then, I felt a wave of depression overtake me. I scolded myself for mistrusting James, even for a second. He deserved better than me. I was a failure. I cast my eyes downward, gazing at the floor beneath me. When I looked up, my eyes met Edward Masen's. All of a sudden, a wretched thought occurred to me.

"You!" I cried out, pointing my finger at him, my body shaking with fury, "You made these!" I screeched, holding up the picture. "You did this to me, you sick bastard!" I rushed toward him and jumped at him, digging my nails into his skin. The crowd behind me that was gathered at the lockers gasped, but I didn't let go. Within seconds, Edward pushed me off of him. However, when he did so, he was gentle and soft. I was surprised. I had expected him to be forceful when removing me. I had after all, just attacked him with all of my might. I was also a bit embarrassed, as it had taken very little of Edward's energy to detach me from him. There was a still silence that filled the hallway for a moment. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the teachers during all of this. Surely they would have heard some of this by now. A few moments later, when still no adult had arrived, I fell to my knees, shaking with sobs. I no longer cared what anyone thought of me. They would all think of me as a whore from then on anyway. What did matter if they saw me cry? The longer I wept, the more I became positive that my assumption had been correct. I was sure that Edward Masen was my Peeping Tom. Who else could it have been? The signs had been there and I hadn't seen them until it was too late. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't look up. "Go away." I snapped.

"Bella," Edward said softly, "Bella, I didn't do this. Someday, you'll realize that." With that, he left me and went on his way. As soon as he had walked down the hall, the students who were still standing by their lockers exploded with chatter. I was too ashamed to look at any of them. Some of them booed me as I passed, trying to make it to my first class of the day. On my way to that class, however, I was stopped by the principal of the school. When I heard him call my name, I knew I was toast. There was no way out of my predicament, even he knew. I felt a sudden urge to attack Edward Masen all over again.

"Miss Swan!" bellowed Principal Weaves in a loud voice, "Miss Swan, I would like a word with you."

Quickly I wiped my eyes "Of course sir." I replied.

"Good." he said, his voice cold. "Follow me to my office." What choice did I have? With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I trailed close behind him, wondering what was in store for me and knowing instinctively that it wouldn't be good. I couldn't have been more correct. The second I walked into his office, I saw Charlie sitting in the chair beside his desk, the chair all of the students who were being reprimanded had to sit in when they came into the headmaster's office. As I walked into the room, Charlie stood up. He was shaking with emotion but whether it was anger, sadness, or disappointment, I couldn't be sure. Maybe it was a mix of all three. When he saw me walk into the room, my father stood up. In his hand, he clutched a copy of the horrid picture that had already caused me so much trouble that morning.

"Bella," he demanded, "Bella, what the hell is going on?"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's Note: Hey, I don't have much to say today. Sorry it took me so unbelievably long to get this chapter out. I'll be better. Thank you to all who read and reviewed chapter six. I hope you will enjoy this one.

Chapter Seven

I looked at Charlie. His face was a mixture of grief, pain, and disappointment. I felt sick with apprehension as my eyes met his. I knew I had to answer his question. My mouth tasted like pennies and I felt as though I might vomit. "Dad," I said, attempting to sound more confident then I felt. "Dad, you've got to let me explain."

"Explain what, Bella?" Charlie demanded. "Please, don't explain anything. This picture has already told me everything I need to know. I understand why you were so desperate to go to Seattle University now. You want to be with...with him." Charlie pronounced this last word as if it had left a bad taste in his mouth. He couldn't even bring himself to say James's name. Guilt overwhelmed me at that moment. I knew I could try to lie some more, to deny my affair with James, but it would be futile and pointless. I had never been particularly good at lying, the only person who had ever really bought my lies in life was my mother, Renee, and frankly, Renee believes anything anyone tells her. I love her, I really do, but she has never been the most observant person. Charlie wasn't either, but he had always been far more observant than Renee. Aside from that, he was very much like me and that more than anything kept me from lying to him. It was useless. Even if Charlie didn't immediately find out what was wrong, he was always able to recognize when something was bothering me. I knew I couldn't lie to him about my relationship with James anymore than I could lie to him about anything else.

"The picture isn't real." I managed at last. There was nothing false about that statement. James had not once stood in my room, not even with his clothing on.

Charlie rolled his eyes in exasperation and I knew at once that he did not believe me. I gulped, waiting for what Charlie was going to say next. I could feel the principal's eyes on me also, burning a hole in back as I gazed at my father. Finally, Charlie spoke. "How long?" he asked, his voice nearly cracking.

I knew without having to ask what he meant by that. He wanted to know how long I had been with James, how long we had been involved with one another. "Um, almost nine months." I confessed. I kept eye contact with him. There was no use hiding from the truth, not anymore.

"You were already eighteen when he seduced you then." Charlie said, his voice flat. "You were legal."

I gasped. I realized in that instant that Charlie had planned to get James arrested. He was trying to convince himself that James was responsible for our affair, that I had been an unaware, naïve child who had walked right into James's trap. He didn't want to acknowledge that I could be every bit as responsible as James, that I had wanted him as badly as he had wanted me. I wasn't going to sit there and let James take all the blame for our actions together. He didn't deserve that. He deserved more than I would be able to give him. "Dad," I snapped, my voice colder than I had intended to make it, "Don't you dare blame James. I wanted it as well, you know. I wanted it every bit as badly as-"

"Enough!" bellowed Charlie, "I've heard enough, Bella." I froze, waiting to hear what he would say next. I could practically feel his anger now. It was electrifying, horrid. I watched as his face became progressively angrier, at last, when I could stand it no more, I spoke.

"What? What is it?" I demanded of him. "Say something!" My outburst pushed Charlie over the edge.

"I have nothing to say, Bella!" he shouted, raising his voice to a pitch I had not ever heard him use before. "You've made a spectacle of yourself, you've become James Brun's harlot! Are you not ashamed? Well know that, even if you're not, I certainly am. Your behavior is inexcusable. Not only have you allowed a grown man access to your body, you have lied to me about it all year long. I just can hardly believe I was so stupid. I believed you when you told me that you were going to James's to get help with your homework. I didn't suspect a thing! How stupid I was. Bella, Bella, my child, how could you let him do this to you?" Charlie's voice was cracking and he looked as if he might break down into tears at any second. I know I should have pitied him, he was right about so much. But as I have said before, I was young and often made very rash decisions. That day, with Charlie in Principal Weaves office, I made the worst mistake I have made in my life. I chose James over my father.

"I'm not a child!" I exclaimed, allowing my fury to take me over. I don't lose my temper very often, but when I do, there is no stopping me. "And I didn't 'let' James do anything to me. I wanted him and he wanted me. He loves me, it doesn't matter our age. You're one to lecture me about my love life, Dad, considering the shape yours is in. You think I don't know you still love Mom? I see the way you look when I mention her, I've seen your wedding picture in your bedroom countless times. She got over you ages ago, Dad, and she's happy. She has Phil now. You know what I think, Dad? I think you're jealous. I think you resent the fact that Mom left you in this hellhole of a town and never looked back and you're upset that I have found love and happiness. Dad, you're being incredibly selfish and I feel very sorry for you. Grow up and get a life."

I stopped to catch my breath and waited for Charlie, Principal Weaves, or both to say something. When neither did, I started to speak again, my voice low, and breathy. I was still uncontrollably angry, but I didn't feel like yelling anymore. "Let me take my finals." I hissed at Principal Weaves, "Let me take my finals and get out of here. After this week, you won't see me anymore, either of you. You won't have to deal with me. I am a woman now, Dad, I'm as much as an adult as anyone else. After this week, I want to move in with James. I'm an adult and he is an adult. We're equals and we should get to be together. It's only right. Dad, you married my mother right out of high school. You considered yourself an adult. Allow me the same privilege." I stopped talking. I had said all I needed to say.

Charlie still didn't speak, he seemed unable to. At last, Principal Weaves said, "All right, all right, Bella, I'll get you your tests. You can take them all today if you want. In fact, I'd prefer it if you did take them all today. It would make things easier on everyone else. If you stick around here even a day longer, people will start saying bad things about this school. I would not be doing my job as Principal if I didn't relieve this student body of all the trouble makers I can. You, Bella, are a trouble maker and I must deal with you like all the rest. You can take your finals in the conference room. I'll expect you gone by three-thirty this afternoon, that's all the time you'll have. Then, you can consider yourself graduated."

"You mean she can't even go to graduation?" Charlie asked incuriously. The sound of his voice surprised me, even though he had been sitting there in the room the entire time we had been having this conversation. It had been so long since he had spoken that I had pushed him out of my mind.

"I'm afraid not, Chief Swan." Principal Weaves replied, appearing somewhat apologetic. "Your daughter's conduct reflects badly on the school. Once she passes her finals, I'll hand her her diploma and she'll be free to go."

"But plenty of students do stupid things while they're in school." Charlie protested, "They usually get to graduate alongside their class anyway."

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan." Principal Weaves said, his eyes sad but his voice steady and firm, "I truly am."

"I'm not." I said. They both looked up. Principal Weaves looked furious and Charlie seemed to be holding his breath. I went on, ignoring their reactions to my outburst. "I'm glad James and I don't have to hide away from the world anymore, I'm thrilled that we don't have to be a secret. I don't care what people say about me, I never really have. Really, I ought to thank whoever was taking pictures of me last fall, they've freed me from having to confess my feelings for James sometime in the future. That was inevitably going to have to happen at some point. I'll be in the conference room, waiting on my tests." With that, I walked to the door, opened it, and slammed it behind me with a bang. Neither my father nor Principal Weaves attempted to stop me from leaving. I thought I heard the sound of the Principal trying to console my father, but I couldn't be sure. In any case, I didn't think it mattered. I was through with them and glad to be so. All I wanted was to take my tests, go back to the house and gather my things, and make my way to James's. That was all that mattered. James, with his handsome smile, his, strong muscular body. James who would hold me all night if I wanted him to. I wanted him, I felt as if I needed him. Just thinking of him got me excited. Thoughts of James occupied me until Principal Weaves finally arrived with my tests. He said nothing to me and, likewise, I said nothing in return. I was through wasting my time with people like him.

Hours later, after I had completed my exams, I made my way into the parking lot, hopped into my old truck, and starting driving home. I knew Charlie wouldn't at the house when I got there and I was grateful for that. I didn't want to experience anymore awkwardness than I already had that day. Once I arrived at the house, I immediately rushed up to my bedroom, packed the things I felt were necessary and left. It couldn't have been simpler. Within thirty minutes of arriving at my own house, I was making my way to James's. I knew he wouldn't be home yet but I planned to be there to surprise him. I had taken a few food items from the kitchen when I had cleared out my room and was planning to make a really delicious dinner for James to celebrate my freedom and the real beginning of our life together. I had a key to James's house, he had given me one months earlier, so I had no worries about getting into his house. I drove into his driveway, a sense of excitement and nervousness over taking me as if always did when I reached his house, whether he was home or not. I unpacked the truck and walked toward the door. I placed the key in the lock and turned the knob almost simultaneously. I had never been so excited to walk into James's sitting room. In my mind, it was no longer just James's sitting room, it was mine as well. Like an excited child, I pushed my way inside. It was then that things started to go very wrong.

There, on the couch in James's sitting room, was James. James was home in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday. He was supposed to be in Seattle, practicing law. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that James wasn't alone….at all. In his lap, was Victoria. She was every bit as breathtakingly beautiful as I remembered her being. She was half dressed and her skin was alabaster, like snow on a quiet winter's morning. This glorious skin contrasted well with her wild dark red hair which cascaded down her back. She wore upon her face a charming, unpredictable look. She was confident and didn't seem at all concerned that I had entered the room. It took me a moment to actually register what was going on. James was holding the half naked Victoria in his arms. He himself was entirely naked. Victoria was sneering at me, her plump, pouty lips forming a wicked looking smile that lit up her exquisite features. James 's expression was one of shock, terror, and fury at once. Although I couldn't see it, I was certain that my own expression was doubtlessly one of dismay. I had been betrayed by the person I had thought loved me the most of anyone I had ever known. There was already a sort of bitterness inside me that I couldn't put into words. I wanted to speak, to shout at James for betraying my trust, for cheating on me, but I found I couldn't speak. I could feel tears building up behind my eyes and I knew that, if I started to express my feelings, I would start crying. Victoria's bell like voice cut through the silence. "Hello Bella." she said, as if we had just run into one another on the street, "What are you doing here?" Hers was not a genuine question. It was only too apparent she was mocking me. I didn't answer her.

"That's a good question Victoria." James said, starting to sit up on the couch. "What are you doing here, Bella?" His voice sounded ferocious and in spite of myself, I was afraid.

"That's a question I ought to ask you." I snapped, at last allowing my anger to take me over. I didn't want to cry, James didn't deserve to see me cry, to know how badly he had hurt me.

"Well, it's not your business." James retorted, his voice lowering, changing into a tense growl. He was irritated and for a split second, he reminded me of all wild animal. "If you know what's good for you, you'll walk out of here right now. You can come back later."

I was appalled. He was practically telling me that I was going to have to share him with Victoria. We were going to have to take turns. Right now, the turn was hers. Well, I wasn't going to stand for that. "I'm not your whore, James. I'm not some plaything you can use whenever you want to and throw away whenever you don't. You love me, James! You've told me so. Please come to your senses. I really care for you, I love you and want to see you succeed. I doubt this…this hussy cares for anything but your body. I can't compete with her looks but I can promise you that no woman loves you as much as I do. Please, please, don't do this to me."

In response to my pleas, James laughed. "Bella," he said, "Bella, you stupid child! You are so trusting, so innocent. I really ought to feel sorry for you, but I don't." He lowered his head and kissed Victoria's throat in a way that was so erotic, so sensual that, in spite of my dire circumstance, I felt aroused. My arousal didn't last long, though. I quickly noticed that Victoria was holding a sharp looking silver dagger in her left hand. It gleamed brightly in the dimly lit room. I couldn't help but notice that the tip of the knife was covered in dried blood. I was so mesmerized by the knife that I almost didn't hear James whisper in Victoria's ear, "Get her, Tori, my sweet." Quick as a wink, Victoria had leapt off the couch and within seconds, she was holding that sharp, silver knife no more than an inch from my neck. I had never been so frightened in my life. I knew that, if James gave her permission, Victoria would not hesitate to slit my throat.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I am not Smeyer

Author's Note: I know, I know, I haven't updated in ages. I just did this one a whim because I have a friend who really wanted more of it. It's a short chapter. I am going to update at least one of my other fics tonight, possibly two. Have fun everyone.

Chapter Eight

The word fear is not strong enough to describe what I was feeling as I stood there, at the mercy of Victoria and James. I glanced at James, James who I had believed I could lean on, James who I had been certain I loved. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, my voice shakier than I had originally wanted it to be. In response to my question, Victoria laughed, a high pitch, frightening sound that was as impossible as it sounds, both beautiful and petrifying at one time. At last, James replied.

"Because you've caught me, my secret is out. I've decided I'm exhausted, Bella, I don't want more than one lover any longer. So, I have to pick between you and Tori here and I have made my decision. I think it goes without saying that it was a pretty easy choice."

Although I knew in my heart that it must have been any easy choice, I still felt a strong pang in my chest as he spoke these words. I was second to Victoria in his mind. He had probably been playing me all along and I had been too stupid to see it. James didn't say another word. I saw Victoria raise the silver knife, ready to plunge it into my throat. It glinted in the dim light of James's sitting room and I noticed once again that the tip was covered in dried blood. I couldn't help but wonder who Victoria's last, unlucky victim had been. I guessed I would never know. To be honest, I wasn't really afraid of death in those moments. James had been my life and, if he didn't truly love me, I didn't really want to live. The pain of his betrayal was far worse than any physical pain Victoria Sutherland would possibly be able to inflict on me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to make my last thoughts peaceful ones. I had never given much thought to how I would die. I had always imagined that I would be a very old woman, surrounded by grandchildren. I knew I should be sad about this abrupt ending to my life, but I didn't feel anything, literally, nothing. I felt numb. Just as Victoria began to lower the knife toward my throat, the door burst open and Edward Masen sprinted into the room, his beautiful face not even flushed though he might have been running a long time. For once, I wasn't unhappy to see him. Victoria, in shock, dropped the knife to the ground. The dodged it and landed a few feet from Edward. Without thinking, I reached out and grasped his arm, my instincts had kicked in and now, I was willing to fight for my life. Now, I was afraid. He put a reassuring hand over mine. Amazingly enough, I didn't resent the fact that he was touching me. Instead, I felt overcome with relief. Something about Edward's presence convinced me that things were going to be all right. I couldn't explain what it was about him that made me feel that way, but I did. I had never seen him that way before, as someone I could depend on, but now, for a reason I couldn't put into words, I was sure he was. I could only think of a select group of people who would be willing to attempt to save me from the rage of James. I couldn't begin to imagine why Edward Masen gave a rat's ass about me, especially after I had spent most of senior year treating him like dirt, but it didn't matter. He was here for me, he was here to help. That was all that mattered.

Edward ran at James and grasped his throat between his strong hands. James began choking and, within seconds, Victoria was at his side, attempting in vain to push Edward away from James. However, her attempts were futile ones. Edward kicked her to the ground in one smooth motion. She landed with a loud crash and her head hit the ground very hard. The silver knife, which she had been holding in her right hand, skittered out of her hand and across the floor. Victoria lay motionless on the ground. From her head oozed a liquid as red as her hair and I knew without question that she was bleeding. She was unconscious. I could see her chest moving up and down. James was beginning to suffocate and, in spite of the way he had treated me recently, I couldn't bear to see him killed. "Stop Edward!" I cried.

A silence fell over the room. Victoria was lying on the ground, James was looking at me, his expression a mixture of relief and something which resembled thankfulness. Edward was looking at me as though I were crazy. "He tried to kill you, Bella." Edward said, his voice strained with emotion. "He was going to kill you."

For some stupid reason, I couldn't keep my eyes from filling with tears. I glanced deliberately at the floor before I decided it didn't matter. James and Edward both needed to see my feelings, to know my emotions were real. "I know." I said, "I know he did, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving him. It's not that easy, Edward. Before this year, I never really paid any mind to what people say about love, but the things they say are true. Love is blind, love is very blind. You see James as a criminal, I still see him as the man I love, even if he doesn't see me that way. It's too late for me to turn back, Edward. When you fall in love someday, you'll know how it feels."

Edward didn't answer. He released his grip on James. James began gasping, trying to regain control of himself. I decided I could wait no longer to say what I had to say. "James," I began, "Today, my father threw me out of the house." I could feel tears, those obnoxious dreadful tears, building up behind my eyes again. They seemed determined to make a fool of me. "He found out about you and me. Apparently, I had a Peeping Tom spying on me while I was getting dressed months ago. They changed the picture, put it through photoshop, or something like it. They placed a picture of you beside me and it was extremely convincing. It convinced my father and the Principal of my school. I am through denying it. I'm through lying. I love you, James and I probably always will. It will be my burden to bear, my curse. I was coming here this afternoon to tell you that I could be with you forever if you wanted me. I was coming to tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me. I was coming to tell you I love you." I couldn't say anymore. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and my nose was running. James looked fondly at me for a moment and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry, Bella." he said softly, "I was angry that you caught me with Victoria. I didn't want you to know I was unfaithful to you. I never should have been, I don't deserve you, not at all. Bella, what I said to you just moments ago was a lie. I care for you, I care for you deeply."

Edward interjected. "Bella, are you really buying into this?" he sounded incredulous. I didn't reply. Just like that, Edward Masen was beginning to get on my nerves once more.

James continued. "Victoria is a bad influence on me, baby, but we've all got our faults. I just….I just cannot believe I almost allowed her to do what she wanted with you this afternoon. I ought to be punished. No one could truly want to kill an angel like you, Bella. Anyone who would is the equivalent of Satan himself." Being young, naïve and foolish, I believed James's words. I believed in those moments that he cared for me, that he wanted me to forgive him. I believed he was admitting that he had been in the wrong and that he actually regretted what he had done. What a fool I was.

"Oh James," I said, rushing toward him. He took me into his arms and held me firmly to him. I didn't glance at Edward. It was as though he wasn't there. "Do you really still want me?"

James smiled. "Of course I want you, Bella. Tell you what, I know Victoria's injury looks terrible, but I believe it is little more than a scratch. She is bleeding only slightly. You and I should leave at once and be rid of her forever. We will go to Seattle. I was meant to be at work today anyway. I am a lawyer, you know, it's not an easy business. I want you by my side, Bella and, in a few years, I would like to see myself married to you. What do you say, huh?" he ruffled my hair with his finger, "What do you say, pretty girl? Will you marry me?"

I can't put the childish joy I felt at that moment into words. I was so deliriously happy. It didn't occur to me for even a second that something else could go wrong. I thought James and I had at last seen the end of our troubles together. I was wrong of course. Our troubles had just begun. I looked up to see Edward, but found to my surprise that he was gone. James rolled his eyes. "Weird fellow." He said, "I'm grateful for him though, he helped me come to my senses."

I was about to answer James when I noticed a small piece of paper on the ground. Curiosity got the better of me and I reached down to pick it up. There, in Edward Masen's script were the words: I do know what it feels like.

I was utterly perplexed. What did this mean? After staring at the note a moment, I put it my pocket and promptly forgot about it. James didn't even bother to ask me what it was. His thoughts seemed elsewhere. We left Forks that day, thinking we were starting a bright new future. It turned out to be a horrible end to freedom. Victoria bled to death in James's apartment that day and was found by my father two days later. James and I were immediately the number one suspects.


End file.
